my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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