I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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