My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
