is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
