dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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