help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
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