You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
