Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
