you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
