Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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