I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize