I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
