I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
