well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
