No subtext here. People are naked.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
What drink are we having for lunch?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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