I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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