you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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