6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
