Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
