CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
