He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
