I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
