apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
