90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
