How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
