i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I bet he comes in French.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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