note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
