if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
