After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
