Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
