so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
should my penis look like a turkey
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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