Grow some girl-balls and come out already
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
