We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
