we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
