i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize