I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I've blown a few things in my day
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
