My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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