please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
