This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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