It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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