he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
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Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
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I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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