ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
