"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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