I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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