I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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