And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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