if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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