Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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