dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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