next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
