you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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