I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize