I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
