My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
