The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
