I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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