her vagina looked like bernie madoff
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize