After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
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